Archive for February, 2017

The Abyss of Depression

At first it isn’t there, not for me;
Its something that exists for others and I can only imagine.
But we don’t acknowledge it, and we pretend it isn’t real.

Then I caught a glimpse; a shimmer in the distance.
The abyss had announced itself in my life.
Shouldered its way in without permission.

Mostly I ignored the abyss as it prowled around my horizon.
If I dismiss it long enough it would surely leave.
Except one day I awoke and it was closer then before.

It’s harder to ignore now, and blocking my view.
Tentacles of dark shadow slithering towards me.
Caressing my skin and tainting my being.

Each day becomes more laborious.
A constant battle to banish the abyss;
To return my life to its peaceful, undulating landscape.

The abyss is inexorable, always finding chinks in my armour.
Until I am at the edge staring down;
Down into the unfathomable black of the beast.

Suddenly I am clinging to the edge from inside the abyss.
How did that happen?
When did I move from out to in?

Now the fight is on two fronts
I must hold on to avoid falling further;
Yet also find the strength to climb out.

I am tired of the battle, so tired.
The walls of the abyss are smooth as glass.
What is the point in fighting any more?

Everyone else is so far above me in the light.
In the abyss I am invisible,
Caught in the trap of despair and hopelessness

As I slide deeper and deeper,
I am consumed by the darkness of the abyss.
Life before the dark is a vague memory.

Should I just let go? Let the abyss claim me?
I could relinquish myself to the dark,
And sleep the sleep of forever.


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